My feelings toward John were very mixed over the next few days. On the one hand I felt enormous sympathy for him: he’d been through a horrific ordeal and he, more than anyone, had suffered the most from the pressured of twenty-four-hour attention. Being at the center of the circus was something that was starting to eat away at all of us, and it would eventually affect every one of us in a different way. For now, John was the one who was suffering the most. But besides feeling sympathy, though, I was angry with him, too, and there were moments when I didn’t feel sorry for him at all. It was the second or third time that something like this had happened to him, and I was beginning to lose patience. There were plenty of times when I had felt like punching out management but I’d held back, so I reasoned that John should have done more to avoid getting into bad scrapes
“You don’t fucking do things like that at our age”, I cursed to myself.
Officially, the injury to John’s foot was due to an accident. All he said afterward was that he was drunk and dancing around his room when he accidently stepped on the vodka bottle. In my view, drugs had been an aggravating factor- and it says a lot that the thing we turned to to get us out of the mayhem had been more cocaine. Sadly, the incident wasn’t the only time blood was spilled. There was more to come at our end-of-tour party. A lot more.
We had two or three more shows to do, and I was counting the days before I could go back to the UK […]. The madness of being on the road seemed never-ending, and despite the fact that the tour had started with such a high due to all the adulation we received, our moods started to dip. A rock-and-roll lifestyle had no structure. When you are young you don’t look back, but later on you realize it’s a series of highs and lows. You can get high on creativity as well as drugs, but what goes up must come down and it can drain your energy. ‘The Reflex’ was about to go to number one, but in addition to the incident with John, there was more trouble ahead- and it would further take the shine off the things.

..my soul mate, and part of being in a successful relationship is that there is one person whom you can talk to about everything. Someone who will see things from a unique perspective and who will consider you a little bit more that other people.

If we have faith in each other,  then we can be strong

When you try your best, but you don't succeed; when you get what you want, but not what you need; when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse. And the tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you can't replace, when you love someone, but it goes to waste.. could it be worse? And high up above or down below, when you're too in love to let it go -but if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth- tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace. Tears stream down your face- I promise you I will learn from my mistakes. Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you

Try to see it my way, do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on? While you see it your way, run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone. We can work it out, we can work it out. Think of what you're saying, you can get it wrong and still you think that it's all right. Think of what I'm saying, we can work it out and get it straight, or say good night. We can work it out. we can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again- try to see it my way, only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out,
we can work it out

Sometimes I think that you'll never understand me
but something tells me together we'd be happy

the only one

Happy bday babe- love you so fucking much and I can't say anything you don't know

Child, don't you worry, it's enough you're growing up in such a hurry. Brings you down the news they sell ya' to put in your mind that all mankind is a failure. But nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow; we'll try not to show how frightened we are. If you'll let me, I'll protect you however I can. You've got to believe it'll be alright in the end. You’ve got to believe it’ll be alright again. Fighting because we're so close, there are times we punish those who we need the most. No we can't wait for a savior, only got ourselves to blame for this behavior. And nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow, we try not to show how frightened we are. It would seem lonely if you were the only star in the night. You've got to believe it'll be alright in the end- you've got to believe it'll be alright again. And nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow, so don't let go, now we've come this far. Hold my hand please, understand we're never alone. We've got to believe it'll be alright in the end (nobody knows). We've got to believe it'll be alright, my friend, so don't let go, and yes we believe it'll be alright again. Don’t let go

you gotta hold on to what you believe

I'll tell you something to let you understand the way I feel, just what you mean to me. Thank you for fine times we nearly made it all the way- we know it wasn't meant to be. You say we feel the same- there ain't no blame to decide, but if a little time could change your mind, I'll be here and you can call me at your liberty, you can hold me at your liberty. Do you remember how lover's right for summers, even nights, would never seem to end and as december comes stirring with that finger of desire to feel it once again. You worry 'bout you're friends: what if they find what's going on? But if you want to try to make it come alive, I'll be here. Help me out, I live in doubt, sort me out. Don't make it every night, don't wanna be the love of your life. So if you are inclined, to spend a little time, I'll be here

when the days they seem to fall through you, well, just let them go

It's the same old, the same old situation

UN AÑO

Lo unico bueno del 2008- gracias por hacerme tan feliz durante solo 3 dias

UN AÑO

Gracias.

17

Not enough time for all that I want for you

You are on one side, I am on the other- are we divided? Why can’t we live together? There are no rights. This isn’t your decision. We need to talk of changing things but no one wants to listen. It doesn’t have to be like that. A heart on the inside, the same as any other- are we divided? Someone always has to suffer. We are broken; there’s no one left to change it- Is that the way it has to be? Why can’t we rearrange it? It doesn’t have to be like that. What is the secret in calling me a brother? Are we divided? Always one against the other. We are strong now. Put down the ammunition for what we know is right. Is gonna breakdown this division? It doesn’t have to be like that

Wanna know who you are,
wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means
wanna know how you feel,
wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything EVERYTHING

Was it all worth it?

So there I was, Andy Taylor of Duran Duran. The UK press had recently accused me of being the “wildest of the Wild Boys,” but I just couldn’t consume any more booze or drugs. Worse still, there was no twenty-four-hour room service tonight.
“Fuck off and leave me alone” was all I could muster.
I’d had enough. I needed a rest from this Groundhog Day cokefueled lifestyle. I realized that the consumption had to stop for the madness to begin to subside. For a while, success had brought us happiness and wealth beyond our wildest dreams. But the lifestyle we had aspired to, and for which we had worked so hard, became the very cancer that was starting to destroy us. Little did I realize how long it was going to take to repair some of the lives damaged as a consequence of our excess. For sure, we paraded around in our fast cars, with beautiful models on yachts in the south of France and the Caribbean, without needing to pay the bill at times (that came later). But it begs the question: Was it all worth it? Not too many people knew about our incendiary arguments or my fights with our management- and the dark depression and bitter resentments that these confrontations created. Neither did they know about the blood and the exhaustion, all from being constantly on the road, or about the mad cocaine binges, or the paranoia and insanity that was caused by being in the spotlight for what amounts to twenty-four hours a day.
We were hanging on by our fingernails.
We were called Duran Duran. This is the story of how we came to rule the world and nearly threw it all away.

...

Do they REALLY understand what's wrong?

How does it feel when everyone surrounds you?
How do you deal? Do crowds just make you feel lonely?
What do you say when people come and try to pin you down?
Acquaintances smile, but that's no understanding
How, after a while, you keep falling off the same mountain
Try to explain it, but nothing really gets them that high

There's a fine line drawing my senses together
and I think it's about to break

"Why does everyone leave?"
The words were soft and muffled against J's neck, but he heard them clearly. "They don't."
"They do. Look at my life. It's nothing but a pile of missing people. They've all gone." A deep, shaky breath. "You left."
"I'm right here."
"Now. But not tomorrow. Or next week. You'll leave again."
J closed his eyes against the effect of those low, aching words. "I never left you. I just went away."
"There's a difference?"
He nodded, his chin bumping against S's head. "You needed me. Here I am. Would I be here if I'd left?"

The room was silent as we all tried so hard to 
remember the way it feels to be alive

What am I supposed to do? How do I have to react?
I've been a little confused these days.. I am confused right now

“Oh, god. I’ve blown it, haven’t I?” he gulped against the tears.

“With S? I doubt it,” G told him gently. “He loves you, J. Love forgives. Although probably not without a little groveling,” she added wryly and he laughed.

-Do you want me to stop?
-No. Please. I need you. I need to belong to you
-You do

I know that you're the one
This feeling is so strong when you're near,
hurts when you're far
It's like I've known you for a lifetime,
Everything’s complete when you are here

la vida, la vida..

'...Eran carcajadas sinceras, en ningún momento fingí mi alegría. Pero fue quizá peor: cuanto más alto esta mi animo, más dura es la caída hacia el precipicio cuando tomo conciencia de la realidad..'

*ABZURDAH

Suddenly it all looks so familiar, gone and wrecked it like I always did
Don't you know it? life is out to kill 'ya, but you still go getting on with it
They can drag me to the gates of hell now, there's nothing left but I'm still hanging in
Not for me, ain't no final showdown- I'm too shattered to do anything
Seen better times than right now but I'm not running away
'cause nothing's going to bring me down. It's just been one of those days
I'm not the only one feeling this way, and I'm not sorry

Te alabamos Gran Doh

point of NO return

But even the private snapshots can't hold a candle to the memories we've created over the years; those are the best photographs of all – etched indelibly in my mind, never fading, never growing dim with years, always vibrant and alive. Just like him. Like our relationship.

Mister I'm-so-fucking-gorgeous-I-can-shag-anyone-whenever-I-feel-like-it-and-walk-away

We got something to believe in
even if we don't know where we stand

The higher that you climb, the longer you fall
maybe your time is coming-
Will you ask to climb when you find the wall?
Is it time to doubt? Is it time to wait?

Our love, our lives
Our time, our way
Our dreams, our pride
Our world, our fight

EIGHT

*necesito mis fotooooooooooooooooooos :(

por fin te tengo

Then the fire fades away,
but most of everyday
is full of tired excuses
but it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple,
but we give up easily

Go ahead with your dreaming

for what its worth

Show me who you are, I'll show you what you love
I'll give you half the world if that's enough
Let me take you down, let me see you smile
let me rest my head here for a while
In the end we'll leave it all behind
'cos the life I think I'm trying to find is probably all in the mind

Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind
'cause I don't shine if you don't shine

20 de Junio

FELICES 49 NIGEL JOHN TAYLOR
A pesar de todo lo malo y horrible por lo que pasaste- ya son cosas del pasado y gracias a eso, ahora sos una persona increible que amo y admiro como nunca a nadie. Gracias por haberme hecho sentir tan feliz hace 7 meses atras y todos los dias de mi vida, porque cada cosa que haces, que decis, que escribis, que me entero sobre vos, aunque me ponga mal (porque creo que recien ahora estoy cayendo), me hace bien saber que AHORA estas bien
Te amo muchisimo John- gracias por seguir adelante y nunca darte por vencido
feliz dia

Cracking America

A HELL of a lot blood, sweat, and tears were spilled during our tour of America in 1984. It was the year that we finally conquered the United States and we were duly anointed on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, which billed us as the Fab Five in comparison to the Beatles. We were honored with two Grammy Awards, and we fulfilled our lifelong dreams of performing in front of a sellout audience at Madison Square Garden. It was fantastic. For a while everything that we touched seemed to turn to gold. But adulation comes with a price; and over the next few months we were about to experience a series of deeply disturbing incidents. The US leg of what fans referred to as out Sing Blue Silver tour that year was the last time that all five of us went on a major tour together during the 1980s. John, in particular, would en up in a very dark place, and I would finish the year secretly questiong whether or not I wanted to remain in the band.

FELICES 47 NICHOLAS

cómo seria todo, si no fuera por vos? te admiro de aca hasta la china Nick

sos único- feliz dia

SIETE

Coming soon, something good- something we can share
Understood, sould be better news- we can share
Something's coming soon, I hear it everywhere
I believe we can change
We can make it more than a dream
and I believe we can change
It's not as strange as it might seem

E N O U G H

You had plans all along- must have seen me coming down a mile above the ground
'Cos I am weak where you are strong- It's a thrill that makes me curious
Whatever I'm thinking of you always seem to know,
'cos nothing is good enough. There's always something to keep me guessing
What if it's real? What if you're just faking? What if you knew you could?
What if you get off on manipulating? Why does it feel so good?
Drive in the car, turn up the sound, get your head in a hail storm
and i'm gonna feel the blast. I pick you up, you throw me down
and it only gets more serious
What could you be thinking of? You never let it show
'Cos you give me just enough- there's always something, you keep me coming
Why do I want you more? Why do I want you? Why do I feel so torn?
Why do I want you more? Why do I want you? Why do I want you more?

Just one psychological drama after another
we are guilty and how we ever entered into this life

And you know and you know 'cause my life's a mess and it's starting to show so before I'm old I'll confess you think that I'm strong you're wrong- you're wrong

Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever